Christmas Used to Be Perfect (Then I Grew Up)
5 reasons why I still bother with Christmas
Welcome to Letters From Heidi, a refuge for truth seekers, deep-feelers, and the homesick searching for Eternity.
I am Heidi, an Asian-Australian woman who writes at the intersection of life, faith, pop culture, and the immigrant family experience. Subscribe to never miss a post.
When I was little, Christmas came with a heightened anticipation of singing and dancing, of seeing our city transform into a twinkling postcard of red and green. It came with hearty feasts at my grandmother’s home, endless games of mahjong, and receiving gifts wrapped in rainbow paper. Christmas was the one day in the year where everything was perfect and everyone was present. Heaven.
But then the years rolled by and I suddenly grew up. I learned that people can change (and leave).
My Christmases, though still delightful, began to groan—with regret, guilt, and the grief of barren waiting. While the carols called me to rejoice, Christmas began to feel choked out by consumerism, end-of-year calendar chaos, and being forced to confront the deepest corners of my heart.
What if’s.
Should have’s.
What if I had done it differently?
This year, as I dressed the tree with baubles and trinkets, my heart was pressed with gratitude and grief. Gratitude for the joys and wins of the year gone by, but also deep grief for goodbyes, and the collective loss of once upon a times.
I miss you.
I miss who I once was.
I miss the old Us.
I have learned that the Christmas and holiday season can be a profoundly lonely and difficult time for many people. Much of our longing and anticipation for the “perfect” day ends up falling flat as we find ourselves stuck in another family drama or traffic jam, or grieving the loss of a loved one or unrealised dream.
So why do I (still) bother with celebrating Christmas? When I was 21 years old, I learned what Christians meant when they say “Jesus is the reason for the season”. What I once found extremely cringe, is now the source of my peace and hope. Each year, on Christmas day, I remember the profound truth that God’s son was born and given skin. When Jesus entered the world, he was named ‘Immanuel’, which translates to ‘God with us’ (Matthew 1:23).
Here’s 5 reasons why this is beautiful, and why I truly believe Jesus is a worthy reason for this season.
1. Immanuel means our God is knowable.
Far from being a distant deity on an untouchable throne, the incarnation shows us that God desires proximity and relationship with His creation.
While we can behold God’s power through the forces of nature, we can experience the intimate aspects of His character in the person of Jesus. In His son, we get to see God’s divine love, wisdom, compassion, humility, patience and justice.
As Jesus is the ‘radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being’ (Hebrews 1:3), God takes the guess-work out of knowing who He is, and what He ultimately stands for. The Christmas story shows us that God is knowable.
2. Immanuel means our God is humble in heart.
Far from being a tyrannical King who abuses power and exploits the weak, our God chose to enter the world in the form of a baby. The nativity scene is the gentle unveiling of a divine peace offering where God willingly steps down from heavenly comfort to experience mortality and bear the consequences of sin and death.
Jesus was not only born, he also died; trading a throne for thorns, a crown for a cross, and fellowship for forsakenness. By withholding power to rescue the weak, Jesus shows us that true greatness is expressed through humility.
3. Immanuel means our God can empathise with human suffering and weakness.
Jesus was born in a dirty animal trough and he died a criminal’s death on the cross. Like us, he has been tempted with hunger, thirst, and promises of wealth and power. He was exploited for his healing powers and betrayed by family and friends. He mourned with tears over his friend’s dead body (John 11:35) and he sweat blood ahead of his crucifixion (Luke 22:44).
At the cross, he felt the physical, emotional and spiritual pain of being forsaken by God while abandoned by the very people he came to save. Whenever I cry out to God in prayer, I take comfort in the fact that he can empathise with my experiences of pain in a fallen world. (Hebrews 4:15)
4. Immanuel means our God is with us and for us.
Jesus lived a sinless life of loving God, people and enemies perfectly. As the holy Son of God, he had every right to judge and express righteous anger, and yet at the climax of his suffering, he prays: “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Although he is crowned with sovereign power, Jesus chose to walk with love, lead with patience, and rescue with compassion. God’s unconditional love for sinners as demonstrated on the cross is the reason for my confidence: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)
5. Immanuel promises an Eternity with God without tears.
God promises an eternity where sin will be no more - where we will no longer have to face the consequences of our guilt and shame. The same Spirit which raised Jesus from the dead lives in every believer, so that despite our current struggles, we can be confident in resurrection joy - that our story won’t end in ashes.
There will be a day when King Jesus will return to rescue all who put their faith and hope in Him. On that Day, our weary and mortal souls will finally be at rest because ‘God with Us’ will be our reality for eternity. No more tears, sickness, conflict, or goodbyes. No more anxiety, depression, or the fight for survival. Immanuel means salvation is here and the best is yet to come. Heaven.
My Poem ‘Born to Us’ — Now 10% Off on Etsy!
I’m pleased to announce that I have launched my Etsy store—selling keepsakes for truth seekers, deep-feelers and the homesick searching for Eternity.
I have launched my store with a Christmas poem ‘BORN TO US’ which is now
exclusively available on Etsy as a digital download package in three festive colours. Each package is $5.50 AUD but you can get 10% off with promo code LASTMIN10.
BORN TO US is a reminder that God is with us and for us—a divine promise that we can cling to not just on Christmas Day, but in every season of life. Create a last minute keepsake or Christmas gift today at: https://heiditaiwrites.etsy.com
Warm & Fuzzies
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From the Archives
Missed a post? Catch up here or read some of my hand-picked favourites over the holidays:
Thanks for sharing your joy and grief, Heidi!
This too, will be my first Christmas (and there was my first Thanksgiving, and in a little over a week, my first New Year ...) without my dear mom. And where I live, keeping faith is also becoming difficult, and, sometimes sad. But we keep praying, pray that the spirit of Christmas is with us, and that our faith brings the ultimate joy to life on this earth and beyond.
Merry Christmas and Happy 2025!
Beautiful! 🤍