Evangelising My Family Led to A Faith Crisis
(yet God is working still)
Welcome to Letters From Heidi, a refuge for truth seekers, deep-feelers, and the homesick searching for Eternity.
I am Heidi, an Asian-Australian Christian woman who writes at the intersection of life, faith, and culture. Letters from Heidi explores topics such as identity, relationships, shame, womanhood, and healing from personal and family trauma.
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Dear reader,
Earlier this year, I shared the joyous news that my Great Aunt and Great Uncle had put their faith in Jesus—an extraordinary answer to prayer!
In this month’s letter, I share some important context around this conversion story, and will cover topics such as:
the privilege and burden of being a first-generation Christian
how evangelising my family once led to my faith crisis
sharing the gospel with my grandparents in Australia
my Great Aunt’s views of ancestral worship and Buddhist traditions in Hong Kong
the impact of Christian generosity to the poor in Hong Kong
A First-Generation Christian
One of the privileges of not being born into a Christian household, is being able to see in real-time, God’s saving power over my family. Over the years, I have witnessed the conversion of my parents and father-in-law who were all baptised later in life.
As the gospel has been passed from young to old; child to parent, I have seen God transform my family and bring healing to trauma and dysfunction. Some examples:
seeing my parents heal from intergenerational trauma passed on from poverty, hunger, and war
my parents healing from marital dysfunction and avoiding divorce
my father and I reconciling our cultural (East vs. West) differences with God’s word
anxious striving replaced with sabbath rest and peace in God’s promises.
Yet despite these miracles, I carry a constant and heavy ache for my remaining family members who do not share my faith.
The Hardest People to Witness to: Family
I find evangelism to family members extremely difficult. I would much rather preach to a room full of strangers, than to bring up matters of faith around the dinner table. Rejection stings harder when it comes from the people you know and love.
For sixteen years, I have prayed earnestly for a long list of unbelieving family members, including my beloved Gong Gong (grandfather) and Por Por (grandmother) who raised me. I have wrestled with seasons of hopelessness, as due to cultural and language barriers, I have struggled to find an appropriate way to talk openly about my faith.
What if I offend them?
How can I disrespect their culture and traditions?
If they were to reject God, how can I accept an eternity without my grandparents by my side?
A Crisis of Faith
Admitting this is difficult, because these questions once led to a painful spiritual crisis. I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t answering my prayer. After all, I wasn’t asking for success or wealth. I didn’t care for health or prosperity. For sixteen years, my only constant prayer has been for the salvation of my family—how could a loving God deny me such a thing?
The longer I waited, the more resentful I became. I began to challenge the theology which formed my gospel convictions and motivations for evangelism. I felt regret for moving interstate to church plant, when I still had a mission field back home. I spiralled into a spiritual crisis, because it was too painful for me to accept an eternity without my grandparents by my side.
A Gentle Revelation
Crumbling under the weight of anger, doubt, and grief, I continued going to church and keeping up appearances, yet my heart was beginning to harden. I stopped praying to God and felt distant from Him…yet He did not give up on seeking after my heart.
At first, I kept my crisis a secret because I was afraid of being judged, yet when I began to share my honest thoughts with my husband and church friends, I received much-needed empathy and encouragement. By voicing concerns and asking for help, I began to see my crisis with more clarity.
As much as my grandparents are deserving of all my love and respect, I realised I had put them on a pedestal. This was partly due to my upbringing, which emphasised filial piety. I saw the ones who raised me as heroes without fault—truly good, humble, and generous people who are deserving of salvation.
Yet Romans 3:11 gives a clear picture of the human condition:
“There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands;
there is no one who seeks God.”
The truth is, by God’s holy standards, we all fall short. Here, righteousness is defined not by moral behaviour, but the heart’s seeking and knowing of God. The truth is, we have all rejected God and resisted His kingship over our lives. Like Eve, we all want to call the shots, and reach for the fruit of self-governance and self-sufficiency.
By this definition, no one is deserving of salvation—even people I judge to be morally “good”. In that moment, I realised that my love and respect for my grandparents had slowly bent towards idolatry. I began to challenge God, the divine Judge, and became resentful when He didn’t listen to my demands.
In uncertainty, instead of seeking to understand God’s wisdom and ways, in my pride, I sought to be like Him.
Sharing the Gospel With My Buddhist Grandparents
Humbled and softened by Romans 3, I felt a new wave of motivation to evangelise to my grandparents, while God, in His mercy, continues to give them life and breath. So, last year, I booked a flight to Sydney to do just that.
Over lunch, I shared with them how much I deeply love, respect, and am grateful to them for raising me. I then shared that because I love them, I needed to share the gospel because forgiveness of sin and peace with God is something I desire for the ones I love. I told them if I withheld this truth from them, I would always live with regret.
I opened the Bible to John 3:16, and shared to the best of my ability, the gospel in Cantonese. I explained how the gospel of grace makes Christianity different to every other religion in the world—that we have a God who initiates with the sinner, the poor, the broken, and the needy; where performance does not precede acceptance.
Although it’s inappropriate to express public grief in my culture, in this moment of raw vulnerability, I couldn’t stop myself from holding my grandmother’s hand and breaking down in tears. For 16 years I had put this conversation on hold, too afraid of upsetting my grandparents or being met with rejection.
Yet in God’s kindness, my grandparents listened to what I had to say.
They repeated the gospel back to me, and acknowledged that Jesus was a real Person who died on the cross for human sin. However, to them, Jesus is just one of many gods who coexist in this world.
A devout Buddhist from young, my Por Por worships Guanyin (Goddess of Mercy) and practices ancestral worship. She attributes the blessing of children, a devoted husband, and her ability to escape poverty through immigration, to her devotion to Buddhist rituals and traditions. In her 20s, she had a vivid dream of Guanyin speaking blessings over her life, which to my grandmother, was further confirmation of her existence.
While she admits she is getting too old to keep up every ritual, and expressed fear of losing favour from the gods, the idea of following Jesus so late in life would feel like a devastating betrayal—to her ancestors, culture, traditions, and Guanyin.
Empowered to Pray
I thank God that despite the difficult conversation, my grandparents and I are still close. In fact our honesty has brought us closer. I also left that conversation with a sense of peace—a certainty that I did everything in my power to share the gospel, and now I just have to be still and to have faith in the God who makes all things possible:
But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26
In the waiting, I have prayed specifically for two things:
Firstly, that Jesus would confirm His existence to my grandparents in a vision or dream. Secondly, an older Christian relative or peer could evangelise and share their testimony with my grandparents.
The reason for the latter is because I want my grandparents to see that Christianity is not just a religion for the West, the young, or the privileged. I want my grandparents to hear testimonies from Chinese Christians who understand their history, traditions, and cultural context of surviving war, loss, and poverty. God in His utmost kindness answered this prayer.
Just not in the way I expected Him to.
An Answered Prayer in Hong Kong
In March this year, my Gong Gong’s 85 year old brother visited Australia, and told me over yum cha, that he got baptised in Hong Kong in 2025, and he that he now follows and trusts in Jesus.
My Great Aunt shared that his conversion was an unexpected surprise. Although she had converted from Buddhism to Christianity ten years ago, her husband showed no interest in following suit. Yet after a decade of prayerful waiting, my Great Uncle was baptised at the age of 84. He attributes his new faith to an “irresistible” revelation from God, his wife’s faithful witness, and the extraordinary kindness shown from Christian friends from a local church in Hong Kong.
Resentment Towards Religious Sacrifices & Ancestral Worship
Growing up in Hong Kong, my Great Aunt and Great Uncle followed spiritual traditions which were a merging of Buddhist teachings, folk religion, and ancestral worship.
Honouring deceased relatives and expressing filial piety was of utmost importance, and was done through food sacrifices, incense burning, maintaining graves, and burning fake money (joss paper) for the deceased to use in the afterlife. On a day to day basis, they worshipped the gods of their particular industry—for example, Lo Pan (魯班) the patron saint of Chinese builders and construction workers—with the hopes of receiving peace and safety at work.
Though outwardly religious, my Great Aunt confesses that she always felt resentful towards religion since both she and her husband were born into hardship and poverty. As a child, she was forced to join an illegal network of child labourers to put food on the table. My Great Uncle had left his homeland and sought refuge in Hong Kong after losing everything to war and political upheaval. Desperate for freedom, food, and safety, it seemed ridiculous that they had to sacrifice the little they had, for the gods and deceased.
My Great Aunt’s resentment soon evolved into a spirit of self-sufficiency. Although she practiced Chinese traditions out of duty, deep down, she didn’t trust that the gods or the deceased could protect or care for her. She only trusted in herself, and at times, the local Christian church who gave out milk and food rations to the poor.
The Impact of Christian Generosity
Though My Great Aunt only became a Christian in her late sixties, she has always had a positive impression of the church, since it was a compassionate place that was generous to the poor.
She recalls the joy of lining up with her friends to drink fresh milk, and taking part in weekend children programs, organised by volunteers. Sometimes, she would boldly wander into the church service on Sundays, to taste the “yummy wafer” distributed during communion.
“I was a cheeky child who took advantage of the free stuff at church, without knowing what I was doing.
“Back then, I may not have known God, but He already knew me. It would just take some time for me to find my way home back to Him,” she says.
To be continued next month…
Next Month: From Crushing Religion to Freedom in Jesus
Sorry! I’ve hit my word limit! Next month, I will share part two of my Great Aunt and Great Uncle’s testimony, and how they came to faith in Hong Kong.
In the meantime, I would love to hear your thoughts from this month’s letter.
What encouraged or challenged you?
Have you ever experienced God’s kindness during a spiritual crisis?
Name a time God answered a prayer in ways you didn’t expect:
Out Now: Unmasking the Prodigal Daughter
Are you encouraged by my family’s journey to faith? My debut book, Unmasking the Prodigal Daughter, is now available on Amazon. With poetry, prose, and prayers, I share my journey from rebellion to redemption, and God’s kindness to the rest of my family along the way.
If you appreciate my writing and testimony, I would be so honoured if you grabbed a copy today: https://mybook.to/unmaskingtheprodigal
Finally, if you loved this book, I would so appreciate an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads. Thank you Ka for these kind words which made my week! :)
From the Archives
Liked this post? Here’s a few more from the archives you might enjoy:
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! It made me tear up, as I am going through something similar with close family and friends who reject God. I know the feeling of praying for their salvation while feeling like nothing is happening. In the end, it is all God’s will and timing. Thank you for that reminder. All we can do is preach the Gospel to them, pray for them, and leave the rest in God’s hands, no matter the outcome.
Your post deeply resonated with me. As a fellow first generation Christian, I understand that ache of loving your family so deeply and longing for them to know Christ too. I have been praying for my parents’ salvation for almost 40 years now, and there have been seasons where the waiting felt heavy, confusing, and painful to carry. What you shared about the struggle between honoring family, culture, and faith was so honest and beautifully written. I especially related to the fear of rejection and the heartbreak of wondering why God seems silent when the prayer feels so important.
Thank you for sharing your spiritual crisis so openly too. I think many believers wrestle with those same thoughts but are afraid to admit them. Your vulnerability points people back to God’s grace, patience, and sovereignty in such a powerful way. I was especially encouraged by how God answered your prayers in ways you never expected. Stories like this remind me that even when we cannot see what God is doing, He is still moving in hearts across generations and across time. Thank you for sharing this beautiful testimony.